I have a little metal sign that I bought at Christmas one year that says 'Peace". I hung it in my classroom and it was always what I would look at and focus on when I'd get riled, or disappointed, or angry. I've wanted peace in my life and in the world for what feels like ages. It is a total conflict for me because of my temper and tendency to hold a grudge. I strive for peace within and wish for peace all around and yet everyday I do something that is counterproductive to my search.
I lose my temper at my husband, some random person, or country. I feel angry (I get ticked off pretty easily) or disappointed (which makes me angry) or hurt (which also makes me angry) or scared (yup, anger again)...so not like the peace I want. I want peace like a Buddhist monk. I want to be able to let go of the things that aren't important (everyday stuff) and focus on what is (becoming one with peace).
How do you do that? How does anyone get there? What steps am I missing that I'm not there yet? Is it even possible for anyone to become peacefilled?
I say I want the world to get along and work through their problems but I can't even do it within myself....
Time to stop before my mind implodes.
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